Yes, this is a long overdue review, being that most of the controversy and fuel for discussion about this album has died down, and the sounds and experiments found in these ten pieces have been almost sanitized to the music-listening audience. Still, to coincide with the recent entering of a new year, what better way to embrace the sounds of a new twelve months of music than to take a brief dive into last year’s most feces-filled swimming pool, recalling perhaps the most confusing release since “Metal Machine Music”. Take note that because we all know precisely who is behind this project, there will not be an introduction to the contributors, or any of their past work, as you either already know that, or can easily find it. With that being said, let’s start with the good to be found in this record.
In terms of the sonically pleasing qualities found on “Lulu”, there are surprisingly more to be found than Ian Cohen will hesitantly admit to you. Make no mistake about it, this is one of the boldest, most ambitious albums released in the varied music year that was 2011. The original concept behind this record was to re-record lost gems in Lou Reed’s catalog, and it wasn’t until Reed and his wife Lori Anderson discovered a pair of plays conceived by German playwright Frank Wedekind, did this LP transform into the hybrid of confusion, controversy, and catastrophic reception it would later become. Reed and his wife were able to read through the plays, which he claims were been frustratingly incoherent, after which the process of lyric-writing began.
The lyrics Reed himself offers up here are not even close to being straightforward. The absence of rhyme-scheme can be striking, but however “deep” or “insightful” your rare fan of this album may claim them to be, these lyrics seem not only incoherent, but also to posess a particularly unflattering way of presenting each line as if specifically to be dissected by listeners. “I want so much to hurt you/Marry me/I want you as my wife” howls Lou Reed on the seventh track, “Frustration”, over some of the worst drum filling ever recorded by Lars of Metallica. All that aside, the lyrics here are radically different then anything ever created, and evoke a sense of some kind of firey ambition beneath all the thrash metal riffing.
And speaking of riffing, the instrumentation here is at least mildly impressive. Chances are, if Lou Reed had never laid a musical finger on the guys in Metallica, the instrumentation here could have gone to good use on their next record, minus the occasional orchestration and keyboard use. Even though what Lou Reed and Metallica have made here is not the next Metallica album, it’s not like Metallica are doing anything different here musically [with the strong exception of track five, "Iced Honey"]. Take for example tracks like “Mistress Dread”, “The View”, or even the wildly repetitive “Pumping Blood”. With a few less tables and much more development and variety, tracks like these would honestly make fantastic additions to whatever’s next in Metallica’s discography. The fact of the matter is, though, that this is not the new Lou Reed album, nor is it the newest from Metallica. In fact, I would be heavily mistaken if I wrote that I even knew what exactly this is. Perhaps the most positive way to depict it using the english language would be to call it an unexplained, unaccounted for oddity.
Though major problems occur individually on part of both Metallica’s instrumental backing and Lou Reed’s already occasionally meme worthy poetry, the major issue truly lies in the combination of the two. The vocal delivery and lyrics are despicable enough without repetitive thrash riffing taking place in the backgroud. The sound offered by the team behind Lulu has often been compared to a scenerio in which a teenage kid is listening to a Metallica track on repeat, until his completely drunk, vulgar grandfather walks into the room and yells deranged tales without being able to hear his own vomit-inducing delivery. I truly wish I could tell you different.
All lyrical memes and Lars jokes aside, what does “Lulu” have to offer? If you ask Lou Reed, he’ll tell you “It’s the best thing I ever did,” without the slightest hint of a stutter. If you ask Metallica, they’ll describe it to you as a bold new experiment in the Metallica world. Can’t agree with you on that one, Lou: “The Velvet Underground And Nico” somehow scrapes ahead of “Lulu” in my estimation.
Metallica, however, is on to something in my opinion. If you, the listener, honestly believe that “Lulu” was made for you, then you’re kidding yourself. This thing wasn’t conceived for your enjoyment. Lou Reed and Metallica have crafted a record that couldn’t, wouldn’t, and shouldn’t sell anything close to a record label’s expectations, and they know it better than anyone. This project was made for the purpose of experimentation, and the opportunity to try something new. Not only does it do just that, but it signifies that these are still ever-developing, open-minded musicians that make music for themselves. I may not like the thing, and chances are you don’t either, but the album at least deserves respect, even from non-fans. While it’s not an album that particularly satisfies me, it accomplishes exactly the goal its makers had in mind: it’s different. In that sense, good job Lou Reed & Metallica.
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