After three long years of waiting for a true debut album from The Cool Kids, “When Fish Ride Bicycles” is neither a proper introduction nor a noteworthy triumph. The Cool Kids established their music as memorably entertaining in their 2008 debut, “The Bake Sale EP” but, since then, they’ve seemingly avoided the release of a proper album by working on annual mixtapes. MCs Chuck Inglish and Mikey Rocks exhibit how they’ve grown since their youthful concerns about vintage sneakers and providing the right directions to parties.
Longtime fans of The Cool Kids will be drawn to “Rush Hour Traffic”, “GMC”, and “Penny Hardaway” since they recall their older work. The beats are familiar, simple and infectious, which may be the saving grace to much of their work on the album. “Bundle Up” provides some lyrical gems like, “Comin’ fresh out the freezer/I’m clean to the Caesar/The only third-grader in the school with a beeper” and “Man, damn/Goin’ H.A.M./Got it hotter than a mother.” Also, on “Sour Apple” Mikey states, “But I beg your pardon/I’m Park Place/ You’re Marvin Gardens.” For the most part, though, the lyrics here are somewhat underwhelming, with the album centered around catchy choruses rather than solid verses.
The album also features a variety of guests, spanning from Wu-Tang Clan alumni Ghostface Killah to soul-pop poster-boy Mayer Hawthorne. Collaborating with long-time rappers like Ghostface and Bun B works in The Cool Kids’ favor since their lyrics consistently grasp towards late 80’s and early 90’s sports references and fashion statements. They also work well with Hawthorne: “Swimsuits” may be the most pure ode to summertime that dropped this year. Hip-hop purists may wrinkle their noses at the track since it was used in a Mountain Dew commercial, but they are missing an essential moment of incredible cohesion between two different artists.
There is a downside to the inclusion of such an array of guests: with so many styles present, the album feels a little rushed together. The Cool Kids have always worked extremely well as a unit in the past and having Asher Roth, Chip tha Ripper, and Boldy James on one track feels like overkill. Contributions from vocalists Maxine Ashley and Tennille are off-putting when mixed with the calm stoicism of Chuck and Mikey.
Mostly though, the songs don’t work together since the production varies so drastically from track to track. “Get Right” and “Summer Jam” are produced by the Neptunes, which is an unusual combination. The beats are too futuristic for the sound that The Cool Kids are trying to create, especially in contrast with the basic beats from “GMC” and “Rush Hour Traffic”. The Cool Kids sound unsure of how the album is meant to be heard. “Bundle Up” is about the treacherous winters in Chicago but they shift the focus completely in “Swimsuits” to exotic beaches and attractive women. Even though both topics fit into The Cool Kids coda, they only further the feeling of inconsistency.
Bereft of imaginative lyrics and playfulness, maybe “When Fish Ride Bicycles” is The Cool Kids growing up. While the album is fun at times, it’s frustrating that The Cool Kids have managed to avoid writing a proper album, instead recording another mixtape-quality collection of songs. The album begins with great intentions, hinting towards the very qualities that made The Cool Kids heroes of independent hip-hop, but these hints rapidly give way to an awkward balancing act: The Cool Kids try to fit into hip-hop stereotypes while simultaneously trying to distance themselves from the norm. The album might have been more of a success if they had stuck to just the one path.
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